Parenting By The Seat of
Your Pants

My three kids are all big people now at 6, 6’4” and 6’7” tall. At 5’11”, I am now the shortest one in the family. Theoretically, I could be wrapping up my parenting job but I don’t think I am done yet. It seems that raising other human beings is a commitment that lasts a lifetime and a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. Not only are we molding the future innovators of our world but we are also training the folks who will ultimately take care of us when we can no longer care for ourselves. To me, that’s pretty scary, especially since I still can’t get them to clean up after themselves.

From the time I was a little girl, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I am not sure why this was as I don’t remember playing with dolls or being very nurturing. But as I grew, I just assumed it was going to happen, along with the great career, yet undefined. Other than babysitting, I didn’t have much childcare experience, but in college both Jeff, my future husband, and I took the childhood education classes required by our psychology majors. We watched many of our friends have children, one by one. Some were naturals; some were terrible at it. We definitely thought we could do a better job because we had educated ourselves and read all the “how to” books. Once we had that baby in our arms, though, we quickly learned that having children is both the most rewarding and the most unbelievably difficult job there is.  We thought we knew what to do but we just didn’t.

Fortunately for us and other new parents, you don’t have to know it all at once.  There is plenty of time to learn each stage through trial and error as it comes along. As soon as you master one task, like giving the baby milk, they transition to cereal then vegetables and you have to learn to how to spoon-feed a moving target. The toddler years were especially frustrating when they refused to eat or it all ended up on the floor. We learned that by dealing with each stage as it came prepared us for the next one. We were ready by the time the teenagers ate everything in the house.

One of the most challenging childhood stages for me was when our children entered school and were required to do homework. I remember hoping that somehow during the day that homework would magically disappear from the face of the earth.  Day after day, year after year, it became the nightly battle to get it done. It was exhausting for all of us. School brought projects, back-to-school nights, bake sales … so many things. I had a lot of trouble keeping up with all those deadlines. I felt completely overwhelmed; that is, until I talked to other moms who were going through the same thing. I wasn’t alone in my misery. Through it all we held tight, admiring from afar those “super moms” with a half dozen kids who could do it all and then baked cookies. Those friendships I made along the way are priceless to me.

Being a parent is a 24-hour a day job. No matter how sleep deprived you are, you must get up to attend to the sick child or comfort one who had a nightmare. You are expected to scoop them up when they are hurt and show up when they need you.  That is your job and you don’t hear “thank you” very often.

Thinking back, it was really hard being mom – still is – but I would do it all over again.

To all the moms, hang in there and have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

  Susan BOLAN