Rev. Jon Karn of Light on the Corner Church; Rev. Kimberlie Zakarian of Holy House Ministries, Anthony Kelson RScP, Laney Clevenger-White, RScP, and Rev. Dr. Beverly Craig of La Crescenta Center for Spiritual Living; Rabbi Janet Bieber; Carolyn Young, Sharon Weisman; Rev. Mary Morgan, Redondo Beach Center for Spiritual Living; Rev. Tim Beck and Rev. Dabney Beck, International Church of the Foursquare Gospel; Lucinda Guarino, YMCA; Pastor Randy Foster, Christian Life Church; Rev. Dr. Ellen Contente, Global Truth Center; Pastor Scott Peterson, Lutheran Church of the Foothills; Rev. Karin Ellis, La Canada United Methodist Church; Pastor David Richardson, “David Richardson, Firepoint Church; Rev. Debbie Sayovitz, Epicentre Church; Rev. Dr. Antonio Gallardo, St. Luke’s of the Mountains Episcopal Church; Rev. Sherri James, UP Church; The Rev. C. L. “Skip” Lindeman, Upland Christian Church, Rev. Rob Holman, St. Luke’s Anglican Church, Rev. Anthony Keller; St. George’s Episcopal Church
Responses are offered from the perspectives of individual clergy members, which may or may not be in agreement with other respondents of Spiritually Speaking nor the editor and staff of the Crescenta Valley Weekly.

Question: We’ll begin by saying by the grace of God, we’re both well. We’re just concerned about situations in our lives that have caused us grave concern. Our daughter, who is a nurse, is in Peru where she went to help indigenous people there. She’s having a difficult time returning home. Our son is at home with a bronchial infection and we can’t visit nor help him and his wife. Our dear neighbor, who was like family to us, passed away from the COVIN-19 virus. No final services can be planned because of current orders to stay at home.
We have attended church regularly up until a few weeks ago and really miss being with our church family. Our pastor tells us we’re never given more than we can handle. We both have broad shoulders, but now we’re in overwhelm. Words of encouragement are invited and would be most helpful.
~ Bewildered Couple

Dear Bewildered Couple:
In the mid 1800s Horatio Spafford, a successful attorney in Chicago, went through a series of tragedies: his only son, 4 years old, died of scarlet fever, his entire real estate investment was destroyed by the Great Chicago Fire, and all four of his daughters drowned in a ship wreck in route to Europe with his wife, who was miraculously spared. Horatio immediately boarded a ship to go and meet his wife in Wales where she was taken. As he was traveling across the ocean, the captain of the ship knew the grief that Horatio experienced and stopped the boat over the place Spafford’s daughters were lost. Horatio didn’t understand why all this had to happen. But that day He trusted in the sovereignty of God. And, as that ship was stopped, it was there that “sorrows like sea billows roll” and it was there that he knew God “regarded his helpless estate” and all he could say was, “It is well, it is well with my soul.”
This experience led him to write probably the most inspirational song echoing throughout churches around the world today, “It Is Well with My Soul!”
The apostle Paul, who knew hardships that few of us will ever experience, wrote these words to the Roman believers in Romans 8:31-39: “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us! He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all ¬– how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

 When we face overwhelming circumstances, we need to remember that it can be “well with our soul” because God is with us. We can rest in the sovereignty of God and trust that as we put our faith in Him and put our families in His hands, God’s will can be accomplished in them. And most importantly, nothing can separate us from the love of God.
We will join you in prayer for your daughter and son and their families during this difficult time in their lives! Blessings!

Pastor Randy Foster
randy.clc@att.net

Dear Bewildered Couple,
Let me first encourage you. You are absolutely right to affirm that you will never be given more than you can bear. You have inner resources that are more than equal to this moment. And now you’re being called to tap on those resources and utilize. Use your faith to remember that you are protected in all circumstances. Use your spoken word to speak life all throughout your home and to quiet your concerns about your son and daughter. Use your prayer to stand in the gap for peace for your neighbor impacted by the virus and his/her family. You have everything you need to give a right response to this moment.
And remember that you haven’t been left alone to fend for yourself. The promise of Scripture is that spirit is closer to us than our own breath. That means that right now, God is in the midst of this moment. And that’s your assurance that you can make it through. That’s your divine promise that you will be guided through this moment to safety.
I often remind myself that, like Noah, we are in the ark … the ark of our homes. And I imagine those waves must have tossed and turned for many days and Noah and his family may have been frightened out of their wits from time to time. But they stayed the course and were safely delivered to dry land.
Those promises of safety in the midst of a storm are eternal. You will make it through this moment. What you must do in the meantime is to use your spiritual tools to manage your response to the moment. Is there a way you can approach this moment with friendliness and curiosity rather than dread and fear? We have to go through it. That’s without question. The choice then is how we shall go through it.
I bless you to be a strong tower for your family and to rest in your awareness that you and your family are divinely protected at all times. No harm can come to you. No harm can come from you.
Richest blessings,

Rev. Sherri James
revsherri@upchurch.org

Question: After trying for four years to have a baby, our daughter and her husband decided to have in vitro fertilization. For whatever reason, the fetus miscarried. They both were heartbroken. They want to try again and are asking us to pay for the procedure. We can afford the cost; however, we’d rather they would adopt. They did tell us that if this time doesn’t work out, they will adopt.
What are your thoughts about what we should do?
~ Undecided



Dear Undecided,
My heart goes out to those who genuinely desire to have a family and are struggling to conceive. It seems like the harder they try, the more difficult the process. I do, however, know of several families who adopted and, once they began to relax again, they were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. So many factors are involved, not the least of which is the emotional state of the parents.
In vitro fertilization, or IVF, is very costly in terms of time, money and the emotional toll it takes on the family. It sounds like your daughter and her husband deeply desire to have a family with their own biological genetic code. Supporting their decision is a gift you can give them as parents.
As much as we’d like to help our children make decisions that align with our beliefs, we can only advise them. If money is not the issue, there are several questions to consider.
First, what is the basis of your decision to help or not to help them financially? You might consider this in the context of the larger picture. For example, are you concerned about another miscarriage and what that might do to your daughter (physically, mentally and emotionally) and her relationship with her husband? Maybe you’re wondering if you consent this time and the procedure isn’t successful, might there be another ask for your financial support. Perhaps you’re wondering how to balance your desire for them with theirs.
Second, is there a basis for your daughter’s decision to ask you to finance the efforts? It’s lovely that she has the option of asking you, but is her freedom to do that based on the desire to try again at all costs. If, for some reason, IVF doesn’t work out this time, will it indeed be the last effort? Also, is there a compelling reason that she’s not considering adoption at this time? It would be good to consider these things and have an authentic and transparent conversation ahead of time to mitigate any resentment in the future.
Scripture offers encouragement for parents and children:
“The lovers of God will walk in integrity and their children are fortunate to have godly parents as their examples.” Proverbs 20:7 (TPT)
“[Love in our families and workplaces] Children, if you want to be wise, listen to your parents and do what they tell you, and the Lord will help you.” Ephesians 6:1 (TPT)
I believe you must search your hearts for the solution that best aligns with your desires and those of your daughter. It would be useful for your daughter and her husband to do the same. I would suggest the follow-up to those efforts would be effective, honest and heartfelt communication among the four of you. In this way, you will be able to maintain a loving relationship and lay the groundwork for welcoming a new member into the family.
I’m praying for clarity and discernment for you all!
Be well & be blessed!

Dear Undecided,
First of all, I share my condolences with you and your daughter and her husband in this time of grief and sadness. It is a difficult experience to work so diligently and long to become parents and then, in a moment, lose it through miscarriage. May God comfort you in this time, and may you find strength in the love and support of your family and friends.
I am reminded of Proverbs 17:6: “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their parents” and how children are a blessing to both families and to the world. And the blessing of experiencing the whole journey of childbirth, if possible, gives a deeper understanding of what it means to be a new parent.
As a husband who walked alongside my wife through a difficult pregnancy, I can understand the gift that adoption can be for couples unable to conceive. I do believe that experience brought us closer together and strengthened our relationship in ways that we still are uncovering. It sounds to me that your daughter and her husband will be a “glory” to their child, no matter how he/she comes into their lives, as they have shown that they are willing and able to “put in the work.”
Although it is an expensive procedure, if you have the means to assist with the financial investment I would lean toward assisting them. Not knowing what this next time will hold, it is still now something that all of you are invested in and I believe the relationships will deepen in immeasurable ways. Adoption is still an option, but what a blessing to assist in the conception of a “crown” that will bring blessing to your whole family.
Blessed to be a blessing,

Pastor Scott Peterson
pastor@lcfifoothills.org