QUESTIONS: I’m 19 and in my second year of college. My parents never took my sister and me to church, although both were raised Christian. After searching, I finally found a church whose teachings are helpful to me and I eventually plan to join that church. My parents are against me joining the church and tell me things like I have to tithe, help out at the church, etc.

None of their reasons concern me. I’m happy to tithe once I’m out of college and have a job. I love my parents. They have provided a nice home and support for my sister and me, but I don’t feel I owe it to them to give up a spiritual home I’ve finally found. Is there a caring, loving way I can ask them to please stop the nagging? ~New Believer

Hello, New Believer,

A growing spirituality is an important piece of learning to live in today’s world. There is so much going on that makes us ask the “big” questions about meaning and worth that it is always helpful to have someone to walk along with on that path. I wonder why your parents are advising against joining this new community. Maybe they had a negative experience in the past with a community of faith they belonged to. You could ask them about it and see why they are concerned with your situation.

The church I belong to never “requires” someone to tithe or to help out. We do ask that a person contribute and attend once at least every two years in order to fulfill the governing documents requirements for membership. Participation is encouraged as it gives an opportunity for engaging in acts of service and conversations of caring and we discuss the spiritual aspects of financial generosity, but it is always so that our lives of faith may grow and flourish.

I encourage you to invite them to this new community of faith you have found, if that is possible. Let them meet the people there, let them see how it makes you feel, let them see how it makes you engage even more in the wider community. Their judgment about what churches “require” may be something that can be changed by seeing this new family of faith you have found. Remind them that you are not giving up one family for another (the new church), but rather let them know that your family is expanding and you are now getting to meet your distant “cousins in Christ” and you hope that they can find the joy that you have found in being part of a community of faith.

Blessings on finding a community of faith!

Pastor Scott Peterson

pastor@lcifoothills.org

Dear New Believer,

I’m happy to learn you found a place where you feel comfortable and have the spiritual support you desire. Attending to your spiritual needs is a beautiful way to promote overall wellbeing and live in balance and positivity. Sadly, not everyone shares that sentiment and may even mistrust faith-based organizations.

Your parents may believe as Christians but take exception to affiliations with groups, churches and organizations due to past hurts of their own. Some believe our freedoms are compromised when the “church” asks for tithes and help. Scripture is very clear about the meaning and execution of both as something we do because of our love for God. Malachi 3:10 shows us the blessings from tithe: “Bring all the tithes (the tenth) into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this,” says the Lord of hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you [so great] a blessing until there is no more room to receive it.” (AMP)

It sounds like you love and honor your parents and appreciate the way they’ve supported you throughout your lifetime. As an adult, you have the responsibility to make your own choices and feel empowered in the process. Sometimes it’s tough for parents to accept the fact that they did a great job raising healthy, sensitive and discerning children. Letting go seems to be counterintuitive to their efforts in the protecting role that they’ve come to appreciate as their own. Change can be challenging. Change that involves releasing our children to make their own decisions can be terrifying, particularly in this volatile time in our nation’s history.

My thoughts draw me to communication. You might consider having an honest and transparent conversation with them thanking them for all they’ve done for you, and for loving and supporting you throughout your lifetime. These statements may be followed by sharing your desire for a more fulfilling spiritual life and the great blessing you have in finding a church family where you can grow and experience God’s love in a safe and nurturing environment. 

Maybe you would then consider assuring them that you’re still the same wonderful person they raised as you continue developing a rich and robust character based on the values they instilled in you. Words shared honestly in love and acceptance have power and the potential to promote understanding.

“But instead we will remain strong and always sincere in our love as we express the truth. All our direction and ministries will flow from Christ and lead us deeper into Him, the anointed Head of his body, the church.” Ephesians 4:15 (TPT)

You may want to reassure them that you haven’t made the decision lightly and that you’d appreciate it if they would trust your ability to make appropriate choices in your life based on the values with which they raised you.

You’ve got this!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

Be Well & Be Blessed!

Lucinda Guarino

lucindaguarino1@gmail.com

QUESTIONS: Since the shelter-in-place orders, I’ve been working at home, home schooling our two children, ages 10 and 12, doing the housework – our housekeeper won’t go into others’ homes because of the virus – cooking and trying to stay positive. My husband helps as much as he can and is also working from home; however, his job is more demanding. He works at least 12 hours a day. I am really stressed and do my best to not let our children nor my husband know how I’m feeling.

My question is: Is God really watching over us? If He is, then, what’s the reason this is all happening? I pray for some relief and it seems my prayers are not being answered. I have friends who are in similar situations.

~ Overwhelmed Mom

Dear Overwhelmed Mom,

This recent season has been very difficult for pretty much everyone. COVID-19, and its resulting quarantine, has changed everyone’s world. Your question is on the hearts of many: “Is God really watching over us?” Yes, He is! His love is constant and unfailing. His Word says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies (compassion) never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

We need to draw on His heart and strength daily.
Why is this happening? The truth is we live in a very broken world that continues to break down more every day, and things do not always go as well as we would like. Stress levels are at an all-time high with most of us having to adapt to new situations, responsibilities and challenges. Rather than getting more and more overwhelmed and frustrated, speak up and take some practical steps to address the situation. You, your husband and children are a family. A family pulls together, strategizes and works through challenges, especially in times like these. This is an opportunity for family unification and bonding rather than division and frustration.
Have a family meeting. After praying together, each of you share his/her stresses and feelings about your situation. You may be surprised that they feel the same way. Make a list of tasks to be done and divvy them up. Your children are old enough to take on some extra responsibilities. Among other things you all come up with, they could help you clean house and prepare meals. In fact, meal prep can become part of their home school training (it uses math and science).

Daily, I would encourage you to take some [time] with God yourself. Let Him embrace you into His loving heart. His Word says, “Let us not grow weary in doing good for in due season we will reap, if we don’t lose heart.” (Gal. 6:9). Let His grace, mercy and reassurance that you and all your family are precious to Him help you navigate this season as you depend on His strength.

Praying for strength and unity for your family,

Pastor Tim Beck

snoopytpb@gmail.com

Dear Overwhelmed Mom,

First: breathe in, breathe out; you are not alone! Yes, God is really watching over us. In fact, God is not watching from a million miles away but from right here where we are – right there where you are. God is
in this with us, and God knows every thought, every feeling, every wish, every dream, every prayer in our hearts. When we pray, God hears and answers, immediately. The challenge is that we humans are so connected to instant gratification, instant relief, instant comfort that we have lost our capacity for patience. 

While God never answers, “No,” God often answers, “Not yet” or “Not now” and we feel abandoned or rejected. The important
detail we humans often miss is that God is not wearing a wristwatch – God only experiences one moment of time, and it is infinite, so “Hurry!” has no meaning in spirit. 

Every moment is now to God. The good news is that when we pray for strength, we get challenges that build our strength; when we ask for patience (I am still laughing at myself for this one), we get delays that teach us patience; when we ask for love, we get opportunities to give love so that we can really feel it.

In this current situation, we are being given the opportunity to rest in faith, to stop doing and take time to just be. The moms among us are finding new ways to take care of ourselves as we care for our homes and families by doing a couple of things: cutting ourselves some slack (if the house looks lived-in, it’s because that’s exactly what’s happening) and cutting the rest of the world some slack (we are all in this together, we all need help and understanding, and we can ask for it). When your prayer seems unanswered, perhaps it’s time to call time-out for the family, sit down together for a moment or two, breathe in
and breathe out quietly and peacefully for just a few minutes, and then smile, stand up, hug one another; remember, family is made by love, not just by DNA. We don’t know the why of COVID, but we do know that there is a blessin’ in every lesson, and that’s a Divine guarantee. We will get through this, we will grow through this. So, keep breathing, keep loving, keep praying and know that God is always right where you are – God’s got your back!

Love and blessings,

Rev. Sharri Johnson

revsharri@oneheartretreatcenter.org