Question:  It seems everywhere I go today, on sidewalks and in parking lots, people have dropped masks and cigarette butts. Most of the time, trash barrels are only a few feet away. I try not to be a fuddy duddy, but this really gets to me because it appears those who are too lazy to properly dispose of these items have decided that their carelessness doesn’t matter.

I grew up with my parents saying “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” I wasn’t certain where this saying came from, so I researched and found that John Wesley, the co-founder of Methodism, may have been the originator of the slogan “cleanliness is next to godliness.” In 1791, he referenced the phrase in one of his sermons as we use it today. Wesley wrote, “Slovenliness is no part of religion. Cleanliness is indeed next to Godliness.”

Please say something about folks picking up after themselves. Some people even throw trash from fast food restaurants out their car windows.

~ Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

I am right there with you in your disgust of people not disposing of trash properly. It seems that some people think they have a right to do what they want and nobody is going to keep them from that right. Some people get fined for littering but they have to be caught first.

For the first time since I have been writing in this space, I don’t think I have an answer! I had a friend who once said he believed in the death penalty for double parking but he was kidding … I think! Sometimes I have to admit that I do wish there were stronger fines for littering but, even if there were, some folks would still think the world is their litter box. The problem may lie in some people’s conception of “rugged individualism”. That way of thinking makes some people think that nature is endless and man deserves to do what he wants with nature! So right now we have a polluted planet, global warming and people with no sense of community responsibility. And people who think that they can do whatever they want, regardless of the cost to the rest of us.

By the way, are you vaccinated and boosted? For the good of the community, you should be. It is not your “right” to choose irresponsible behavior for the rest of the community. If you want to increase your possibility of dying prematurely, don’t get vaccinated … except if you choose that course of action, you may cause the premature death of a totally innocent person. And you do not have the “right” to do that … just as nobody has the right to trash the planet.   

Hey, I did have something to say! It may not be helpful, but I do hope it is food for thought.   

The Rev. C. L. “Skip” Lindeman
lindemanskip@yahoo.com

Dear Annoyed,

Thank you for your wonderfully accurate research regarding the John Wesley quote. To take it a bit deeper, the idea of “spiritual” cleanliness is mentioned in the Bible in Isaiah 1:16-17: “Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean … cease to do evil, learn to do good.”

Washing and cleansing rituals are mentioned throughout the early chapters of the Bible and are seen as a way to be more holy and closer to God. When people lack an inner sense of oneness with God, they feel spiritually bankrupt. That feeling of separation from God causes people to not care about themselves. They don’t care about their future, their planet or their fellow beings. In addition, the pandemic has driven our homeless population to astounding numbers while depression, anxiety, gun violence and suicide are at unprecedented levels. People are hurting, hopeless, angry and spiritually empty. The trash is just a symptom of a deeper issue.

What can we do when we are confronted by another’s “slovenliness” or thoughtlessness? We do know that we cannot change any other person and we also know that all true change comes from within ourselves. The antidote for our “annoyance” is to become part of the solution. New Thought author, and founder of Agape Spiritual Center, Dr. Michael Beckwith said, “The cure for depression is service.”

And how do we start? We start right where we are by “cleaning up” our own attitudes about others and by living in compassion and forgiveness. Then we get to take action.

I want to thank you for your letter. It has inspired me to find organizations that are helping to clean up our planet, starting in small neighborhoods and communities like ours. The 4 Ocean organization is pulling tons of plastic out of our oceans (www.4ocean.com) and the Keep America Beautiful organization (www.kab.org) has been studying since 1959 why and how people litter. They reported in 2020 that roadside trash has decreased 54% in the last decade, which is encouraging; however, 50 billion pieces of litter are still on the ground in America. Each American needs to pick up 152 pieces of litter to do their part.

There are so many ways to get involved, one piece of trash at a time. Working together, being love in action, helping others to see that each of us is one with God, gives me hope for all of us.

I’m starting now. Will you join me?

Rev. Karen Mitchell
revkarenmitchell@gmail.com

Question: We’re playing tug-of-war with our college age son. He was scheduled to return to campus for his senior year and then the college returned to remote classes. He says he’s tired of the whole thing and so what if he doesn’t continue his education or get a degree? He told us that he’s opting out of completing his studies. We told him he couldn’t do that. There are so many things to be considered. We diligently saved for his college education and his sister’s, who will graduate from high school in 2023.

We’re both educators and worked to put ourselves through college. Neither of us had help from our parents and we didn’t want our children to have the additional stress of working while going to college. We think our son is being unreasonable and, at the same time, we understand his frustration. We raised our kids in a Christian church where we still attend and would like to know how to approach his negativity in a spiritual way. ~ Perplexed Parents

Dear Perplexed Parents,

 You are to be commended as parents for providing for your children’s spiritual welfare and their college education and even for modeling the importance of education by your chosen vocations. There is no question that this pandemic has brought unique changes and challenges as well as unprecedented stress on students of all ages. College students especially have been impacted due to the fact that so many of them thrive in the whole college experience. Most of them have looked forward all through high school to the freedom of going to college, living on campus and having daily interaction with friends and peers in both academic and social settings.

Recent studies have shown that students who are forced to do remote learning face more stress and exhaustion than those in classrooms. And with the lack of direct access in a classroom to an adult they can go to with academic questions and problems, many students are struggling to feel connected and losing their educational direction and purpose.

It seems that the real struggle for your son, however, is one of direction more than motivation. As a follower of Christ, the most important questions for him to consider are: what does he feel God wants him to do with his life? What is he gifted and called by God to do? And how can he best develop those gifts for making a difference in other’s lives?

The apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 12:6 (NLT), “In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” And then in Colossians 3:17 (NIV) he admonishes believers, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

You might consider centering your next conversation with him around what he feels passionate about, what he feels he can do with his life that will please the Lord and what part his continuing education plays in that process. As mature adults and parents, we are able to see a greater picture than even our adult children. That’s why it’s important for us to commit them to the Lord and believe that He can, and will, speak to them even clearer than we can.

Finally, I would suggest you encourage yourselves and your son with these words: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7) (NLT)

Pastor Randy Foster
randy.clc@att.net

Dear Perplexed Parents,

First of all … take a deep breath. I have a feeling that, considering your educational background, you have instilled some good qualities of responsibility in your children, a good foundation of all types of life affirming qualities for their lives and future. These past years have been quite challenging and stressful for students of all ages … and for parents too. And it continues. 

Perhaps your son just needs a break from it all. If he can’t do his best in school right now, maybe it will do him good to just put school on pause. Ask him what he would like to do in place of school. Maybe he has some ideas and maybe he just needs time to ponder them. Sounds like he’s under some personal pressure about this. Don’t add to it. Let him know that you trust him to make good and right choices for his future. Encourage him to think about what he would love to do. What would make him happy? There are plenty of stories of students who dropped out of their school education and made great successes in life because they were happy doing something that they loved; it’s not all about schooling and college (I know that may be a hard pill to swallow). More importantly, it’s about what brings your heart and your mind together that makes you fulfilled and joyful. 

Consider investing in his real love, what makes his heart happy. I can’t stress that enough. Life goes by fast. Enjoy it as best you can. You won’t regret it. Knowing your son is happy, and you too.

Blessings,

Laney Clevenger-White, RScP Emeritus
laneycl@ca.rr.com