Coping with the Death of a Loved One

Grieving the death of a loved one can be an isolating and lonely experience after the initial rallying and support of friends and family wanes and life slowly returns to “normal.” Everyday life without that person can be hard to bear. While it is a natural and common experience, it is also very personal and individually experienced. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The grieving period is also unique to each person and there is no ideal amount of time to expect to grieve.

Most grief work is based on the five stages of grief introduced in 1969 by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her first book, “On Death and Dying.” These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Experts now describe grieving as a process and not a problem to be solved. Common reactions to grief are disbelief, forgetfulness, changes in sleep and appetite, feelings of restlessness or lethargy, depression, loneliness, anger, guilt and sometimes relief, usually after a prolonged illness of pain and suffering.

Reactions to loss from death also depends on the relationship with the loved one. For example, the feelings of losing a spouse can be quite different from those of losing a child or the reaction and subsequent feelings to a sudden death is different from those felt after someone dies after a prolonged illness.

People cope with grief and loss in many ways. Some seek comfort through the informal support of friends and family, while others find comfort from their religious or spiritual communities. Employing the assistance of a talk therapist can also be beneficial. Support groups are another way to deal with grief as they allow us to express our feelings in a safe and supportive space, learn ways of coping from others and find comfort in shared experiences.

USC Verdugo Hills Hospital’s Community Resource Center for Aging will be hosting a 6-week, in- person, support group for those who have suffered the loss of a loved one through death starting March 30, 2023. Registration is required and after the 2nd session, this will be a closed group. If you are looking for alternatives to a support group, you can still contact us to receive support and information about other services. Please call and speak to a Resource Specialist at 818-949-4033 to RSVP or to obtain additional information and resources.