Question: I’m 76 and have been a widow for nine years.What kept me going after my husband died was my precious dog, Suzy. Suzy began having seizures and the last one killed her. I’ve been so sad lately. My adult children are encouraging me to get another dog. I’m concerned about me dying and leaving the poor thing alone.

My kids have assured me that if something happens to me, they promise to take good care of the dog. I still miss Suzy so much and I’m not sure another dog will help me with what still seems to be my emotional attachment to her. Your guidance is greatly appreciated. ~ Undecided

Dear Undecided,

I am a 77-year-old widow with two fabulous cats who give me so much comfort and unconditional love. I also know how hard [it is] to lose a treasured pet! But in my opinion I would take the advice of your kids and get a new pet.

Check the Pasadena Humane Society or other rescue sites. Don’t get a puppy but a 3-year-old that’s housebroken would be your best bet. I’m almost sure that your heart will melt when you bring a new one into your home. Not only will you be saving the life of a dog but also maybe saving you, too.

Carolyn Young, LCSW
cjymesalila@gmail.com

Dear Undecided:

Belated condolences for your husband and your dog Suzy.

It is truly sad when people lose someone they love, but it should be equally memorable that you had someone in your live that you truly loved. For that you were blessed and most fortunate!

It’s important to remember that God gave us freedom of mind to control ourselves as we wish and it normal to mourn when we lose something dear to us. Having said that, it is important to realize that life is too short and we must strive to find love and happiness whenever and wherever we can. Suzy gave you love, companionship and happiness and that you will never forget.

However, there are pets out there that would be overwhelmed with the love and companionship you gave Suzy. [I] suggest you seriously consider adopting another dog that most certainly would become an important part of your life. Your children certainly have your love and you should feel comfortable that they would care for your dog when the Good Lord decides it’s your time.

God loves you and wants you to be happy but only you can make that happen. Go for it and have a wonderful life!

Andy Gero, VFW Chaplain
ajgero46@gmail.com

Question: I have a dear friend, I’ll call Jan, who I’ve known for 40 years since I moved into the neighborhood. Her husband passed away eight years ago. They have no children and her only relatives are a niece and nephew.

Jan became ill about six months ago and when she was released from the hospital, her niece put her in an assisted living/rehabilitation facility closer to where she lives – about 70 miles from this area. I can’t even begin to express how close Jan and I are/were. I have the niece’s phone number and, when I have called several times asking for Jan’s phone number and address, she just says, “No visitors.”

Jan had listed the niece and nephew as the next of kin and for them to be notified to make decisions for her, if necessary. If the truth be known, the niece and nephew had very little to do with Jan over the last many years, seldom if ever calling her or visiting. I really was her true friend. We exercised together, went to movies and plays and when my family had events we included her. I’m tearful to think Jan has been stuck away somewhere with folks she doesn’t know. I pray for her and also ask God to help me get to see her. My question is, should I just let this go? I’m obsessed with wanting to make contact with my friend. ~ Devoted Friend

Dear Devoted Friend,

No, do not let this go! In fact, if you know where Jan is drive out to the place and ask some questions. If her niece and nephew continue to be unhelpful, I would seek legal action. You probably need to be careful because you don’t want to get labeled as a “stalker.” And I’m no expert about the law but it would seem to me that you do have some legal recourse. While I am sure that Jan’s niece and nephew have more “clout” than you since they are “blood” (even if they really have no love for her) I would urge you to do everything you can to make contact.

Have you tried writing a note to Jan in care of her niece and nephew? That could be a starting place. But if they continue to stonewall you, try the legal route. Maybe Jan has lost some of her mental faculties and, if so, it may be harder to make contact. But if she’s still “with it” and wants to see you, I see no reason why you can’t spend some time with your old friend. But you may have to play hardball and, if so, hire a lawyer.

The Rev. C. L. “Skip” Lindeman
lindemanskip@yahoo.com

Dear Devoted Friend,

I am sorry to hear that your friend is suffering from poor health and sorry to hear that you are not able to visit or call her at the moment. Friendship is so important and it sounds like this friendship has truly enriched both of your lives. I would encourage you to keep praying for her and even keep trying to make contact.

In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians, he writes, “Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) It sounds like you have encouraged each another over the years. Because of your long lasting and meaningful friendship, you might want to gently keep trying to make contact with her. Let her niece know how valuable your friendship is, that you want to support her in her healing process and encourage her in any way. And if visitors are not allowed at the moment, let her niece know that you just want to make contact and don’t intend to visit at this time.

And keep praying. Your prayers for her are encouragement, whether or not she is aware that you are praying for her.

I will keep both of you in my prayers and may you find comfort and peace in knowing that God holds both of you close and wants the best for both of you.

Blessings,

Rev. Karin Ellis
revkarinellis@gmail.com