- Crescenta Valley Weekly

Our world is a place of many wonders – a baby’s birth, a bird in flight, the grandeur of snow-covered mountains, Donald Trump’s hair. Here are some of my personal wonders of late:

I wonder … why pants with two legs are called a “pair” and eyeglasses with two lenses are a “pair,” but a shirt with two arms is only a shirt. Shouldn’t it too be a pair of shirts, like a pair of pants or a pair of glasses? Who decides these things? And while we’re talking shirts (well, me at least), why is a woman’s called a blouse, but a mans’ is a shirt? And why do women’s blouses have buttons on the opposite side as men’s shirts?

I wonder … whatever happened to the imminent catastrophic disaster that was predicted ad nauseam as a result of the Japanese Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant explosions following the massive tsunami? According to the agenda-driven media, we were all doomed to become glowing examples of a nuclear nightmare come true. Fortunately, the biggest meltdown was of the anti-nuke hysteria surrounding the entire episode.

I wonder … why every major newspaper and TV network trumpeted the killing of Osama bin Laden as a great moment in our history, a triumph justice and a source of great comfort to the victims of 9/11 and yet a vast majority of these very same news outlets regularly preach the progressive foolishness that capital punishment is not justice served, does nothing to benefit the victims’ families and is an evil act unto itself. Except in this case, right?

I wonder … why the Highway Patrol doesn’t park a unit on La Crescenta Avenue near the eastbound onramp to the 210 every morning. The number of drivers who make illegal turns onto that ramp would fill the officer’s ticket quota on any given day.

I wonder … why Nancy Pelosi blustered to CNN’s Wolf Blitzer in a July 17, 2008 interview about $4-a-gallon gas prices that, “The price of oil is attributed to two oil men in the White House and their protectors in the United States Senate.” In a later interview with the San Francisco Chronicle, she called the rise in gas prices “… a scam of the greatest magnitude.” So is she blasting and blaming the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. for our latest skyrocketing prices at the pump? To put it in social media vernacular: LOL. Of course not. I’ll say one thing, Ms. Pelosi: When it comes to great scams, you’re the queen.

I wonder … what the crew of the USS Carl Vinson must have thought when it was ordered that Muslim seamen would respectfully wash and anoint the body of a heinous terrorist with perfume and then recite prayers for his soul – all in the name of giving him a “proper” Islamic burial at sea (even though Islamic law requires burial in the ground). Wait. Haven’t we been told repeatedly that OBL wasn’t a true Muslim? And talk about sending mixed messages to our sworn enemies. We can send a high-velocity round through that monster’s forehead, but at least we showed respect to his body before turning it into shark chum in the Indian Ocean. Certainly don’t want the bad guys mad at us, right? And speaking of ticking people off …

I wonder … how anyone can take seriously the latest imagined indignation being protested by the American Indian Movement all because our Navy SEALS strike team used the code name “Geronimo” to identify Osama bin Laden during the raid on his compound? Are you kidding me? Maybe the commando team assigned to Ayman al Zawahiri will use the name “Custer” and make it all better. Get a life, people.

I wonder … how many people will be p’oed with me this week? Guess we’ll soon find out soon enough.

I’ll see you ‘round town.