The Petting of the Peeves

Welcome to my kennel of pet peeves. Please don’t make any sudden moves, and don’t put your hands into the cages. These puppies have been known to bite.

Pet Peeve #1: Drivers in the carpool lane who drive slower than the traffic in all the other lanes. Okay, so you have two or more people in your car and technically qualify to be in the HOV lane. Big whoop. Isn’t the whole idea of driving in that lane to pass other cars?

Pet Peeve #2: Charter Communications. ’Nuff said.  Pet Peeve #3: The Department of Motor Vehicles. Ditto.

Pet Peeve #4: Typing double spaces after a period. I don’t care if you were taught to type two spaces after a period by an English professor, typing teacher or your BFF, please stop. It’s wrong. Period.

Pet Peeve #5: Our petulant California legislators who feel perfectly fine about spending $8 billion (that’s 8,000,000,000 dollars, kids!) just to merely begin building a high-speed rail from Modesto to Stockton, yes, in the middle of farm country. These lame legislators are the same ones threatening to cut millions from public education if California voters don’t approve even higher taxes in the upcoming election. Their foolish spending on high-speed rail is a classic example of why we shouldn’t give them the authority or ability to spend another ding dang dime.

Pet Peeve #6: CHP and other law enforcement personnel in patrol cars who aren’t rolling Code 3 (lights and sirens) but nevertheless speed at full throttle on surface streets, blow through stop signs while barely slowing down, make turns without signaling and worse. What are we supposed to do when those who enforce the law think they’re above it?

Pet Peeve #7: Charter Communications. I realize this is a repeat of #2, but I’m really hacked off at Charter. I missed two-thirds of this summer’s Tour de France and at least half of NBC’s Summer Olympic coverage because I saw more of Charter’s maddening message, “This channel Is currently not available. Please try again later,” than I did event coverage. Why do I keep paying these chuckleheads every month? The next statement I receive, I’d like to send back with a note saying, “This payment is currently not available. Please bill again later.” Then when they call to ask where my check is, I’ll transfer them to a call center in India.

Pet Peeve #8: L.A. broadcasters who locate anything that happens in our foothills as being in “Glendale.” Yah, I know that the part of La Crescenta from Pennsylvania west to Lowell Avenue is technically in the City of Glendale – at least as far as police, fire, taxes, water and power are concerned. But in all the years I’ve lived here, I have never heard anyone who lives in this area say that they live in Glendale. They live in Montrose or La Crescenta. Now, back to you in the studio, Colleen.

Pet Peeve #9: The profuse amounts of plastic shrink wrap and super-sticky tape used to hermetically seal new CD jewel cases. (For readers under 40, a “CD” is a disc with a non-editable playlist of songs recorded on it for use in a stereo system … oh, never mind.) Opening a new CD case to the disc inside requires the simultaneous use of a carving knife, blowtorch, a vice, c-clamps and an oyster shucking knife. Hey record industry, you’re not packaging the cure to cancer. It’s only music.

Pet Peeve #10: One last time for good measure; Charter Communications.

Please know that the above Peeves are all available for adoption should you feel so inclined. I won’t miss them and am, quite frankly, tired of feeding them. The little critters have all had their shots but have not been fixed – they could very well multiply without warning.

And yes. I do feel better now.

I’ll see you ’round town.

  Jim Chase