Another Wonder-full Week

It’s been several months since I last did a “wonder” dump in this space, so batten down the hatches.

I wonder …  if we’ll ever again see gas sold in California for under $4 a gallon? I laugh (because I don’t want to sob) when I hear newscasters now cheerfully asking, “How low will gas go?” simply because we happen to be paying $4.50 instead of the $4.67. Oooh, break out the champagne and brie wedges. We’re doing something (many things) wrong in this state when even Hawaii pays less per gallon than we do. Also, I’m getting tired of hearing my son in Montana brag about paying over a dollar less than we do.

I wonder …  how a husband and wife can both serve in active duty overseas when they have children together? I saw a news story this week that was meant to be heartwarming. A mom unexpectedly returned home from her tour of duty in Afghanistan to surprise her young daughter in the girl’s grade school classroom. And yes, the dad is serving in harm’s way as well. It was an emotional moment all right. I was furious. As a society we should be ashamed that this is even a possibility for military parents.

I wonder …  if it would be creepy if I hung out at CV’s new Bark Park without a dog of my own? Sure do miss my puppies.

I wonder … is it just me, or has there been a huge increase recently in the number of jokes about seniors? When I was a kid, the rage was elephant jokes. You could buy books filled with elephant jokes. Example: Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red? A: So they can hide in cherry trees! (I didn’t say they were funny.) After the pachyderm punch lines came an onslaught of Polish jokes (which may actually have ushered in the age of political correctness). Then came the infamous “…that’s what she said!!” jokes. Now it seems as though every other joke I get via forwarded email features a senior getting his/her revenge on some unsuspecting, arrogant twit of a younger person. Must be because so many of my boomer brethren are starting to enter their golden years and are giving notice that they aren’t going away quietly.

I wonder … if we’ll ever break any records in Southern California for cold or rainy weather. As evidenced (again) by our ongoing endless summer, we’re great at breaking decades-old records for heat, lack of humidity, days-without-measurable rain, etc. But record rainfall or cold? Not a chance. It’s all I can do not to flame Facebook friends who are now posting comments about breaking out their flannel shirts and sitting by the fire at night drinking hot chocolate. Disgusting.

I wonder … how much work time is lost on any given day because of smart phones? The next time you drive by a work crew of any kind – whether it’s Cal Trans, DWP, private contractors or whatever – look for at least two or more of the crew to be riveted to their phone and oblivious to the actual work happening nearby. I’ve even noticed it in the grocery store – with employees stopping what they’re doing to read or answer a text message or check their Facebook wall. Where are their supervisors? Probably enjoying quality time with a their own phones.

I wonder … if anyone else gets a giggle out of words like “cummerbund,” “leotard,” “tchotchkey,” “ gobbledygook,” “kerfuffle,” “staphylococcus,” “namby pamby,”  “bunghole” or “hootenanny” like I do? Dare you to say ‘em without smiling.

I wonder … how I’ve managed to let the most important election in generations approach without yet writing about it here? For those out there with poised pens (caustic keyboards?) just waiting to blast me with their insight, wisdom and tolerance, fear not. There’s always next week.

I’ll see you ’round town.

  Jim Chase