QUESTION: My question is: Does prayer really work? Does God really listen? I’ve had some prayers answered and some were not. I believe in God and I go to church every week. I’m inspired by our pastor’s sermons, but I still wonder if God really cares about me and my challenges. Sometimes in my darkest moments and I talk to God, I really don’t get an answer just when I need the comfort.
Am I doing something wrong?
~ Wondering

 
Dear Wondering,
Yes prayer really does work! The philosophy of Religious Science believes that each person is an individualized expression of God. There is no separation between God and man; there is God as man. The Power of God is already within you and, therefore, the Power you are praying to you are praying with. Jesus said, “It is done unto you as you believe.” The important word in that sentence is “as” you believe. In order to produce the effect we desire, we must have a strong faith and belief that, not only is it possible, but that it will work for me. In fact, our prayers are always answered, though it may not always be the result that we desire. How does that happen?

The law of Life can only work through us according to our own pattern of thought. Our prayers are creative; they reflect back to us the way we are thinking and feeling or, in other words, our consciousness. Our good is waiting to express in our lives, but if our vision is one of limitation, if there is a pattern of thought we hold that is not positive or hopeful then that is the pattern that is reflected back to us and shows up in our life.

If, however, our thoughts are open and receptive to all the good that we desire, filled with faith and trust, then that pattern is reflected back and manifested. Both forms are answered prayers, but one is positive and one is negative. It is much deeper than thinking to make it so – it is coming from a place of knowing within your heart. That knowing is developed by dwelling on the God Presence and listening to the still, small voice within that will guide you to your best and highest outcome.

If there are areas in your life when prayers do not seem to be answered, reflect on your thoughts, reflect on the nature of your prayer. Think of your mind as a garden. There are times when the negative thoughts, like weeds, can creep into your consciousness. Just like weeds can choke off the nutrients to the surrounding plants, negative thoughts can block the very answer you are seeking. Clear out negativity of any kind and keep your mind on what you do desire, not what you don’t want. Be mindful of your thoughts and to where and what you give your energy. Take time to think about the type of life you want to create for yourself. Set your intention everyday to see more of the goodness that you desire and seek it out. Remember rather than saying show me and then I’ll believe, believe it and then you will see.

The truth is we are already whole, perfect and complete, but our thinking patterns can block that from showing up. Spirit is the loving energy that you are made of and is ready, as soon as you are, to answer your every prayer.

In Light,

Rev. Mary Morgan
mormari@aol.com

 
Dear Wondering,
Let me begin with some diagnostic questions. Some of your prayers have been answered. That means God has heard you and said yes. Sometimes he says no. When he says no, does that mean he hasn’t heard you? If he said yes to all your prayers, would that mean that prayer works? Does God ever get to tell you no? I think I know your answer. Of course he does, because He is the Master and we are his servants; not the other way around. What if he were obligated to say yes to everything we prayed? Think it through. What a mess! Besides, you want more than an errand boy in heaven, a divine bellhop who jumps whenever he hears your bell. You want a God who sees the end from the beginning and has a perspective you don’t have and knows what is best for you in the long run.

Now there are a few things we can do to make God not listen to our prayers. Since you’re in church every Sunday, I can quote a book you know well. Psalm 66:18 says, “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.”

I Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

I think we all wonder at times if God really does care for us. He allows us to walk through some awfully deep water sometimes. In times like these, I find comfort in 1 Peter 5:6-7: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

But sometimes God takes too long! He seems late! Where has He been? Surely He has forgotten me! The Psalms are full of these kinds of sentiment. The hymnal of ancient Israel expresses the abandonment we sometimes feel while we’re waiting on God. You’re not alone. You’re in good company! King David wrote in Psalm 13: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”

After pouring his heart out for a while, David closes by remembering the love God has for him: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.”

Is God trying to accomplish anything in you? He’s made you sensitive to his responses. Now that he has your attention, what does HE want?

Rev. Jon T. Karn
pastorjon@lightonthecorner.org

 
QUESTION: After each of us worked for 40 years, my husband and I finally retired. We own our home and live in a great neighborhood. I’m comfortable where we are. We’re active in church and have great neighbors. Now he wants to move a hundred miles away to a retirement community that has a golf course. I don’t play golf.

I’m in a “Catch 22” because the retirement community is closer to our only child, a son who has a family. We see them several times a year, but not on a regular basis. As I go back and forth in my mind about what to do, I’ve decided I want to stay where we are.

How in the world can this be resolved? My husband is not happy about me not wanting to move. He says I’m not very adventurous and at my age I’m not looking for adventures.
~ Grumpy Old Lady

 
Dear Grumpy Old Lady,
Congratulations on many years of marriage and getting to this exciting new stage of life! My first suggestion is that you make sure you have communicated well and that each of you has a chance to share thoroughly what you feel about both the positives and negatives of staying or moving. Proverbs 20:5 says that what is in our heart is “deep waters” and we need to help each other discover what is there. This is one of the most wonderful opportunities we have in marriage! I would suggest you take plenty of time to listen and ask each other questions so you can best understand what the other person is thinking. Sometimes we don’t even know what we are feeling until someone else helps us. Listening first, without drawing your own conclusions or judging motives, is powerful. Hopefully that will enable you to come to a decision you both feel good about; but, if not, then I would suggest professional counseling. Proverbs 20:18 says we should make plans by seeking advice. Would the pastor at your church be a good person to help you? I would certainly be willing to meet with you if you are interested. I would also suggest you both take time to read and meditate on Ephesians 5:21-33. Maybe you can discuss with each other what you are learning. There is a lot there but, in my opinion, it is God’s best specific instruction on his plan for marriage.

Again, let me know if I can help you.

Rev. Reese Neyland
r.neyland@live.com

 
Dear Grumpy Old Lady,
This is a real predicament. As individuals, I can completely see both of your sides and why each of you wants what you want. However, you are a married couple. To speak frankly, which I find helpful sometimes in these types of situations, this will go one of three ways: you will both stay, you will both move where your husband wants, or the two of you will live separately – with or without divorce. In your situation, I would like to dissect and analyze the choices.

First, is your marriage a happy one? If it is not, and you are miserable, you may desire to stick to your guns and stay. This could be a whole new way of life for you if you truly are not happy. You could find the happiness you find missing. However, this could mean your husband stays as well. It could also mean he decides to move.

Second, if you are happy in your marriage then this is an entirely different story. You will most likely want to stay together, right? If this is the case, you can revisit the topic of staying put and explain to your husband your deep desire to stay in your neighborhood and at your church. You can list every pro you can think of. There is a possibility that he will process all of these reasons and decide, along with you, to happily stay. What you do not want, and it absolutely can happen, is for your husband to think it over and decide to stay because of you. If he does so, there is a big possibility that he will resent you. Resentment turns to disdain very quickly. And disdain is the number one indicator of divorce according to John Gottman who had dedicated his life to researching marriages that last and those that end in divorce. Disdain can lead to divorce no matter how long you have been married.

The third option is to consider all of the pros of moving. Yes, your house is paid off. However, many retirees use the fact that their house is paid off to enjoy freedom, to move and embrace the Golden Years without the daily responsibility of work. I understand you like your home and you do not play golf. Still, I see the potential for more pros to you moving than pros to your husband giving up his dream and staying where you are.

That pro is family – the memories you will make, the lack of regrets in not spending time with your son, and the pro of actually seeing your son and his children more often. As we age, we realize we do not take anything with us. The things that truly matter are our loved ones, the impact we have on their lives, and the comfort they can bring us when we age.

Did your husband choose this area to be closer to your son? If so, I see this as a good thing. Golf is one of many activities you have to choose from in life. You can pick up your own hobbies, have more time to enjoy them and make new, long-lasting friends in the process. You can enjoy weekends with your son and family. You can experience a greater amount of familial love, make numerous memories and enjoy activities with grandchildren that you would never be able to do living 100 miles away from them. Ultimately, your entire life will be enriched by this familial closeness and new lifestyle where you and your family come first, not work.

These are thoughts to process as you make your decision. And no one can make it for you. It is all yours. You are completely free to come to any conclusion. My hope is that the freedom you realize you have helps you to make your choice with joy and peace.

Rev. Kimberlie Zakarian,LMFT
kimberlie.zakarian@gmail.com