By Charly SHELTON

Valentine’s Day arrived and the big news was “Fifty Shades of Grey” finally hit theaters. With TV spots playing every few minutes and Fifty Shades merchandise gracing shelves in sex shops, novelty gift shops and even grocery stores, the men of the world came to one terrifying realization: She is going to make you see this movie.

To those who have a girlfriend, wife or very close friend who is female, just accept the fact that you will be seeing this movie soon. There is no way to fight it. But relationships are all about give and take. If she drags me to see this chick flick, what am I going to drag her to in return? Tit for tat. And from what I have heard about Fifty Shades, guys can stand to reap quite a bit of tat from having to sit through this.

But we need to be smart about it. You don’t want to waste your free pass on something like “Hot Tub Time Machine 2.” It needs to be more epic.

Here are a few suggestions.

Everyone is going to see “Avengers” in May, so don’t bother redeeming it for that. She will want to go see that one. But “Ant Man” is a different story. If your girlfriend is anything like mine, she will just laugh when you ask her to go see “Ant Man.” With the Fifty Shades trump card, she will have to go without complaint. Up the ante a little bit; go to see Fifty Shades in a suit and grey tie, clean and confident. That counts as going to a movie in costume. Now how cool will it be when you take your girl to see “Ant Man” while dressed as Ant Man and Wasp?

If a movie isn’t right for you, maybe go to a comic signing. A con is an all day thing and not an equal trade, but an afternoon signing at a local comic shop is totally worth the trade. And again, you can go in couples costumes.

Then there is the Marvel Experience in San Diego until Feb 22. Visitors can go to the facility and be trained as S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives to help save the Marvel Universe from HYDRA and M.O.D.O.K. And after seeing Fifty Shades, you can do that together as well. This is a two-hour experience of full-on geeking out with an awesome ride, projection screens and a shop at the end to get some great Marvel stuff. But it is in San Diego, so be sure to go to a nice dinner down there to sweeten the pot for her to say yes to this one.

If all else fails, just go for a midnight screening or retro screening of an old cult classic. Find “Clerks” or “The Big Lebowski” on the big screen and make a night of it. That’s probably something she will say yes to anyway, but you get full license to geek out all the way there and back. Summarize what “The Infinity Gauntlet” is about for the whole car ride there and then tell her everything that’s wrong with the “Green Lantern” movie all the way back.

That should make it even.

Until next time, True Believers, Fight On!

True-Believer.net is published as a digital exclusive newspaper  every other Friday and is the headquarters for nerd news.

  Charly Shelton