By Mary O’KEEFE
“Miss Morstan and I stood together, and her hand was in mine. A wondrous subtle thing is love, for here were we two, who had never seen each other until that day, between whom no word or even look of affection had ever passed, and yet now in an hour of trouble our hands instinctively sought for each other. I have marveled at it since, but at the time it seemed the most natural thing that I would go out to her so, and, as she has often told me, there was in her also the instinct to turn to me for comfort and protection. So we stood hand in hand like two children, and there was peace in our hearts for all the dark things that surrounded us.”
~ Dr. Watson speaking of his future wife, Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes The Complete Novels and Stories, Volume I
This really has nothing to do with science fiction or the weather this week but a couple of things happened this weekend that have actually haunted my dreams.
The first was an interview I did with a high school student who started the Pride event in Sunland-Tujunga. Instead of just celebrating that she brought kindness and awareness to her LGBTQ+ family, concern for safety loomed heavily in her thoughts. She is someone who wanted to help fellow students by giving them a safe space to speak out, even if they didn’t want to come out or weren’t even thinking about coming out. She knew, as we all do, of the statistics of LGBTQ+ depression and suicide rates and she was doing her part to save lives.
I love this community and have dedicated my life to supporting youth in our area and watching kids, who are smart and kind, feel the freedom to speak out about anything and to take action. These things have given me a sense of pride for my community. I have seen kids thrive with neighbor support on a number of issues – from the decision to join the military and watching friends and community support them (I grew up during the Vietnam era and many who decided to join the military were not supported) to a group of kids who had the idea of building their own skatepark. This community was so overwhelmingly supportive that you could actually see these skaters’ self esteem grow. So the fact that one teen must hide the success of creating a successful Pride event and independent club was more than a little troubling.
The second thing that happened this past weekend had to do with my grandson who turned 3 on Tuesday. I was making dinner and he and my husband, Pa, were standing in the kitchen. My grandson reached up and took Pa’s hand; he didn’t want to go anywhere – he just wanted to hold his hand. He’s been holding hands a lot lately. For example, while watching TV he will sit down next to me and say, “Ga, let’s hold hands and watch ‘Paw Patrol.’” He and I hold hands all the time and each time is a sweet moment and, if our family history continues, I will continue to hold hands with him no matter how old he is – or how old I am.
I did some research and found that holding hands is actually a stress reduction act. It can reduce levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and release oxytocin, the love or cuddle hormone.
“We have found that holding hands can reduce activity in a part of your brain called the hypothalamus, which is responsible for regulating part of the body’s stress response, and that the degree to which this is true corresponds with better general health and wellbeing,” said James Arthur Coan, a neuroscientist and psychology professor at the University of Virginia, who teaches a course titled “Why We Hold Hands.” “It’s such a simple activity, and yet it also has great power.” (From a University of Virginia article titled “We asked an Expert Why We Hold Hands, and Learned It’s Good for You.”)
Holding hands is not just for physical support but emotional as well, and it is a sign of friendship. During a visit in 2005 between then-President George W. Bush and Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, they held hands while walking together. In Saudi Arabia it is a sign of friendship and respect for men to hold hands while walking.
We are not the only species who hold hands; some chimpanzees and otters do as well. For otters, holding hands is a way not to drift apart or lose each other while sleeping. They are actually holding hands to stay close. Isn’t it too bad that because of the misconceptions about the “subtle” act of holding someone’s hand, whether due to age or gender prejudice, some do not hold hands in public for fear of backlash … when we really need to hold one another’s hand more often than ever so we don’t drift apart.
Today, Thursday, we’re expecting partly sunny skies with a high near 69 and wind gusts up to 15 mph; the evening will be mostly cloudy with a low around 53. Mostly cloudy skies continue on Friday with a high near 70 and patchy fog after 11 p.m. that continues into Saturday followed by cloudy skies and a high near 68.
A slight chance of showers and thunderstorms are predicted for Sunday preceded by patchy fog. High near 64.
Patchy fog continues on Monday and Tuesday with highs hovering around 65 and lows around 54.