By Mary O’KEEFE

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Each year, 44,965 Americans die by suicide. That figure does not reflect that, for every suicide completed, 25 people attempt it.

Suicide costs the U.S. $60 billion annually.

On average, there are 123 suicides committed per day. Firearms accounted for 51% of all suicides in 2016. Men die by suicide 3.53 times more than women. White males accounted for seven out of 10 suicides in 2016.

The statistics above come from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Although in 2016, according to AFSP, California was ranked 45th in the nation in suicides (Montana ranked first), more than twice as many people die by suicide in California annually than by homicide. It is the second leading cause of death for 25-to-34 year olds, the third cause of death for 15-to-24 year olds and fourth cause of death for 35-to-44 year olds.

The statistics are shocking, but for many they are just statistics. Numbers that mean, “Something should be done” and spark concern, but may not mean more than that. However, for Rosalie Blum, these statistics unfortunately have a very personal meaning. In 2016 her daughter Kimberly became one of those statistics.

Kimberly was attending a family party in June 2014. Despite seeming to be in good spirits she suddenly left the party. She had gotten into her car and drove off – that was the last time her family saw her. For two years her mother Rosalie and her family searched, prayed and hoped that she would be found safe. But in August 2016 their worst fears were confirmed when “Kimmie’s” car was found over the side of the road in the Angeles National Forest. It was found in an area that had been searched several times but, because the vegetation was so thick, the car remained hidden until time released it.

“It’s been hard. I found it really interesting that for a while no one would mention Kim’s name, but I felt [she was] here,” Rosalie said. “The situation was awful and we can’t let her disappear.”

It is difficult to be left behind when loved ones end their lives. For many it is a debilitating time. Rosalie saw a therapist for a while but found that was not what she needed, not now at least. Then she discovered the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and things changed for her.

Each year the Foundation has an annual walk called “Out of the Darkness.” Rosalie joined the walk last year.

“There was a mother and daughter who were walking, the daughter had attempted suicide [in the past],” Rosalie said. “I realized there was a community of people out there that care.”

She found a certain sense of solace in this community of people and the Foundation that reached out to those who struggle with self-harm issues and the families and loved ones who support them.

This year the Out of Darkness walk will be held on Nov. 3 at 275 S. Raymond Ave. in Pasadena with the opening ceremony at 9 a.m.

Rosalie, like most who deal with the suicide of a loved one, continues to deal with the “what if” factor, second guessing all that she did to help her daughter, and worrying about what more she could have done.

“The awful thing about being left behind is the thought, ‘I should have done this or that.’ As a survivor, it is very difficult not to blame yourself,” Rosalie said.

This is especially difficult if, like Kimberly, there had been attempts prior to her final day.

“You go through so many emotional highs and lows,” Rosalie said. “I think one thing the therapist did say that made sense was that Kimmie just had some wires crossed.”

Rosalie wants people to know there are support systems for everyone who are dealing with suicide.

With the recent high-profile suicides of chef Anthony Bourdain and designer Kate Spade, Rosalie thinks it is important – now more than ever – to talk about suicide, to take it out of the shadows and have open discussions. That is what she feels is available with AFSP.

“That’s why I am [involved] in this,” she said.

The experience she has gone through, and continues going through, is difficult but if there is a way her daughter’s story could help others she wants to work on that.

“That’s why I am [involved in AFSP],” she said. “[Kimberly] was so tortured – why, I don’t know – but maybe if I help others it will help her rest easier. I hope it will.”

For information on the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, visit the website afsp.org and for the Out of Darkness community walk, go to afsp.donordrive.com or contact Donna Stokley at (213) 399-4161. For information on Rosalie, who also teaches yoga as a way to deal with stress, email rosieblum@yahoo.com or contact (818) 590-7296.

  Mary Okeefe