QUESTION: It’s me, again, the church treasurer. We always support our church members every way we possibly can. We have a great pastoral care team and when anyone is ill or has challenges of any kind we pray daily and sometimes have prayer vigils, our hospital visitation team visits every day when an individual is in the hospital, we take food to their home during convalescence, and make sure we’re there for them during difficult times.

Even though the church has been very important to them when they pass away the church is left out of their wills even though we provide a beautiful service and reception for them.

Please say something about remembering churches in bequests.

~ Baffled Church Treasurer

Dear Baffled Church Treasurer,

In one church I served, there had been a longtime custom of putting on the church stationery these words: “Please remember (the name of the church) in your will.”

While having such words on the church letterhead may be offensive to some, and may even seem somewhat tacky, it’s important to remember that every organization, religious or otherwise, needs money to survive. The late Jess Unruh of Democratic Party politics in California for many years was quoted as saying that money is the “mother’s milk” of politics. Well, guess what? It’s also the “mother’s milk” of your church or your service club or just about any other organization one can imagine. So a little gentle reminder on publications of your faith community shouldn’t be looked on as begging. Running a church (or a synagogue or a mosque or a temple) takes money; that’s just a fact of life. So asking for money, however subtle the form of asking takes, should not be thought of as “beneath the church’s dignity.”

I read a story one time about a person who gave a contribution to a certain institution. When he was asked why he gave, the man responded, “Because I was asked.”

So don’t be afraid to ask. While your parishioners may be wonderful and loving people, maybe they never gave because it never crossed their minds. And if nobody ever asked them, are they supposed to be mind readers?

One New Testament quote is, “Seek, and you shall find.” Maybe you should ask and maybe you’ll get a nice contribution!

The Rev. C. L. “Skip” Lindeman

lindemanskip@yahoo.com

Dear Baffled Church Treasurer,

The Bible states, “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.” Your
description of the many services your church offers to its congregants sounds truly Christian in
nature. However, the main thing I feel from your letter is that, as treasurer, you are expecting a
return on that investment. You sound angry and disappointed at the fact that these congregants
who pass away have had the audacity to not pay the Church back for the wonderful treatment
they, and their families, received when they were ill. That is actually the opposite of a “Christian”
consciousness. It is as if these dear souls were actually ungrateful and you are asking that
someone remind these people to remember that these services all come with a price tag.

I suggest
that your Church board survey your community and find out if they are satisfied with the level
of spiritual care they are experiencing. Maybe there are other areas in their lives that are not
being helped and they are not being spiritually fed. What can your church do to inspire more
love, more abundance, more joy? The moneychangers were thrown out of the temple by Jesus
for a reason. You do not seem to have faith in the fact that God will provide for the ongoing
good of your church. You are in fear that the balance due will exceed the income. Trust in the
Universe to provide all that is needed for all concerned. Focus on love, not expectations, and
you will experience more than you have imagined.

Rev. Karen Mitchell

karen@karenmitchellmusic.com

QUESTION: Our son Jason (not his real name) returned from a military tour in Afghanistan a little over a year ago. He was in a situation, engaged in battle, when he had to kill or be killed. We raised our children Christian and always did our best to keep family activities in alignment with The Ten Commandments. Jason is haunted by the commandment, “Thou shall not kill.” He can’t seem to get over what he did, even though it was to save him and others with him. We pray for him and he sees a therapist regularly but he doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

Any suggestions we can tell him to help relieve his emotional pain is most welcome.

~ Concerned Parents

Dear Concerned Parents,

Obviously you raised your children with a Godly standard of Christian living and being obedient to the truths of the Word. You have no doubt been thankful to see how your children have followed your teaching and your example of obedience. From the struggle he is having, apparently for Jason anything less than that is just not acceptable. As believers, one of the challenges we face is balancing our commitment of honoring God and His commandments with all that He gives of grace and mercy. God does not want us to get so bound up in the things of legalism (living under the law) that we miss His love, His grace, and His goodness.

In the New Testament Epistles, over and over again it is declared to the recipients: “Grace to you and peace from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ” Romans 1:7. This declaration is also repeated in the following: I Corinthians 1:3, Galatians 1:3, Ephesians 1:2, Colossians 1:2, I Thessalonians 1:1, II Thessalonians 1:2, I Timothy 1:2, II Timothy 1:2, Philemon 1:3, etc., etc. I believe this is an indication of God’s heart of love and goodness toward all of us as His children.

Now for what Jason experienced in Afghanistan having to either kill or be killed, my thoughts went to what we read (in II Samuel 5:17-19) about David when he became king of Israel. The Philistines set out to kill him.

“So David inquired of the Lord saying, ‘Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you deliver them into my hand?’ And the Lord said to David, ‘Go up, for I will doubtless deliver the Philistines into your hand.’ To me, what happened with David and the Philistines is a picture of what happened with Jason … either kill or be killed. It was a victory for David, and also for Jason.

May the grace and peace of God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ be showered down upon your whole family.

Pastor Tim Beck

snoopytpb@gmail.com

Dear Concerned Parents,

Your love and prayers are the greatest gifts you can give your son. And bless Jason’s heart for wanting to be true to the commandment, “Thou shall not kill.” 

Bible interpretation can be a sticky wicket, especially when one is doing his or her own best to live by the Word of God. St. Augustine said this about Scripture: “… if in the Scriptures I meet anything which seems contrary to truth, I shall not hesitate to conclude either that the text is faulty, or that the translator has not expressed the meaning of the passage, or that I myself do not understand.” 

In Jason’s case, he is taking on undeserved responsibility because of his literal interpretation of the Commandment even under circumstances that required actions to save others and himself.

If you haven’t already, don’t hesitate to ask your pastor, friends and family to pray with you. Where two or more are gathered in prayer, therein lies the power and presence of God. Often when we pray we expect immediate results; however, I believe prayers are always answered in God’s time. I also believe that Jason will one day have a different perspective about his war experience and that will come about through prayer and your parental love.

There are also practical ways to expedite his healing process including exercise. Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins interact with the receptors in the brain that reduce perception of pain. They also trigger a positive feeling in the body. For example, the feeling that follows a run or workout is often described as “euphoric.” That feeling, known as a “runner’s high,” can be accompanied by a positive and energizing outlook on life. Meditation and yoga also help with stress relief.

Our prayer team and I will be praying for Jason. Expect results!

Rev. Beverly Craig

Center for Spiritual
Living-La Crescenta