Spiritually Speaking

Rev. Jon Karn of Light on the Corner Church; Rev. Kimberlie Zakarian of Holy House Ministries, Anthony Kelson RScP, Laney Clevenger-White, RScP, and Rev. Dr. Beverly Craig of La Crescenta Center for Spiritual Living; Rabbi Janet Bieber; Carolyn Young, Sharon Weisman; Rev. Mary Morgan, Redondo Beach Center for Spiritual Living; Rev. Tim Beck and Rev. Dabney Beck, International Church of the Foursquare Gospel; Lucinda Guarino, YMCA; Pastor Randy Foster, Christian Life Church; Rev. Dr. Ellen Contente, Global Truth Center; Pastor Scott Peterson, Lutheran Church of the Foothills; Rev. Karin Ellis, La Canada United Methodist Church; Pastor David Richardson, “David Richardson, Firepoint Church; Rev. Debbie Sayovitz, Epicentre Church; Rev. Dr. Antonio Gallardo, St. Luke’s of the Mountains Episcopal Church; Rev. Sherri James, UP Church; The Rev. C. L. “Skip” Lindeman, Upland Christian Church, Rev. Rob Holman, St. Luke’s Anglican Church, Rev. Anthony Keller; St. George’s Episcopal Church
Responses are offered from the perspectives of individual clergy members, which may or may not be in agreement with other respondents of Spiritually Speaking nor the editor and staff of the Crescenta Valley Weekly.

Our daughter, Trisha, is graduating from high school this year and has been accepted into the college of her choice. She’s very depressed because (1) there will be no graduation ceremony this year and (2) she has already been notified that perhaps her college classes will be online. We’ve told her “this, too, shall pass,” but she’s not buying into our words of reassurance.
Please suggest ways we can support her during this difficult time in her life. We as a family are observing the “shelter in place” and wearing masks when in public. In the meantime, we’re keeping Trish busy with family things, like video calls with her grandparents, aunts and cousins and doing a lot of cooking together. She is also in touch with her best friends. Thanking you in advance for your words of wisdom. ~ Perplexed Parents



Dear Perplexed Parents,
I very much appreciate the demonstrations of caring and concern you have shown your daughter. In my opinion, these are marks of good and loving parents; and that truth in itself will sustain and protect your daughter. How blessed she is to have you. Your salient and profound point that all things change and pass is a good thing to have been brought to her attention; and no doubt will become more meaningful and real as she gains more life experience.
In the meantime, I also appreciate and understand her sense of loss and limitation. For a young person, as they look forward to certain milestones at the beginning of their adult life like graduation and going off to college, to have that taken away by an unexpected pandemic may leave them feeling robbed or cheated by life, as well as boxed in and limited. But that doesn’t have to be the case.
Ernest Holmes, founder of the Science of Mind, once said we fail to recognize that we actually live in a spiritual rather than a material world and universe. That our material world is merely an outgrowth, expression and reflection of the spiritual universe/reality, which creates, embraces, permeates and sustains it, that what exists outside of us is merely a reflection of what exists within (i.e. within our own minds or state of consciousness). This is true on an individual level (“What you think is what you get” or “Think of something and it can/will be”) and it is even true on the level of the wider group thought or consciousness of the human race.
So what does this all mean? It means, on one level, we can lead a life without limits. Precisely because, as you pointed out to your daughter, like the weather all things are subject to change in this material world.
But in this world of change, we tend to overlook one key point, one key power we all have. At any given moment, we have the power to consciously choose how our story will go, and even how our story will end. Yes, we do live in world of seeming limits; we are limited by our body, by time and space, by outward events like a pandemic. Those are all very real experiences. Moreover, we are further limited by our beliefs, rightly or wrongly chosen, consciously or ignorantly accepted and agreed to. But such limits are not, nor are they meant to be, triumphant or inflexibly determinative because what is not limited is our vision or imagination, and our right of ultimate choice.
This being the case, we are not meant to await some unknown or unrevealed destiny but to create it. God tells the Prophet Isaiah, “Concerning the work of My hands, command you Me.” Never underestimate the power of a decision to command life, especially a decision chosen to bring about the good you desire.
In short, all limiting beliefs (such as fear beliefs) can be changed and, once changed, your world also makes a change for the better. The one always follows the other. Thus your daughter is not a powerless human being subject to the limitations of some imagined or incomprehensible fate, and she should come to know that. It is how we dialogue with, work with, or respond to the seeming but impermanent limitations of our life, and what we choose to create in spite of them, that can break their false tyrannical narrative hold over us, and lead to those life experiences we find fulfilling, rewarding, enriching and good. This is true no matter how it appears in the beginning.
In conclusion, encourage her to create the good she wishes for herself in spite of all limiting appearances to the contrary. Use the imagination to see new, creative and exciting possibilities, solutions and expressions for yourself. Be confident and commanding in your choices, and the universe will support you.
Anthony P. Kelson, Religious Science Practitioner

anthony@apkelson.com

Dear Perplexed Parents,
This is a huge disappointment for a young person who has academically worked, essentially her entire life, for this moment. While we understand the truth behind, “This too shall pass,” feelings-wise, young people live only in the moment. They do not have the life experience to integrate that huge disappointments will fade away in a year or two. Because their brains are not fully developed until 25-26 years of age, the frustration and sadness they feel today is their reality. Period.
Do not underestimate the importance of the teaching moment here. While teenagers and adults in their early 20s cannot “feel” a lesson, it is still important to explain it – as one day they will look back and see that disappointments do pass. This is called scaffolding. This is how adults gain patience, resilience and wisdom.
A painful part of being a parent to young adults is the powerlessness we have to take life’s trials away from them. When they’re young and fall, we scoop them up, love on them, and put a bandage on their boo-boos. At her age, you instead point out the positives: she made it into the college of her choice, this time next year she will most likely be in class, not online.
This developmental stage requires comfort and support as much as we can, but the real care comes from the life lesson: she needs to sit in her disappointment. She needs to learn to self soothe during disappointment. She needs to be able to reframe expectations and let downs – or life will be much more difficult for her.
As a mom, I know the pain of seeing our children suffer. But I realize what is most important for my adult child is acceptance, the ability to manage disappointment with flexibility and, on the other side, the ability to look back and realize they made it through. Thus they truly learn “this too shall pass” as they have now lived it.
This is a coping strategy what will help them through all of life’s trials, crisis and losses. One of our greatest jobs as parents is to help build resiliency in our children.
Rev. Kimberlie Zakarian, Licensed Psychotherapist
kimberlie.zakarian@gmail.com

I’m a widow who has lived through the Great Depression, several wars, financial downturns, disease epidemics and my husband of 55 years passing away. What I remember is each time, beginning when I was old enough to understand, my parents would tell me that faith is what will bring us through. I believe faith will bring us through this virus pandemic as well. I pray and I’m not really worried; however, I have friends who are terrified. I try to speak to them about faith, and some listen and take my words to heart. One friend, however, is constantly calling me and telling me how frightened she is. The last time she called, I told her, “God will get us through this.” She was angry and hung up. Now I feel I’ve failed her.
Shall I call her back or perhaps write a letter explaining why I believe in having faith?
~ Concerned Friend



Dear Concerned Friend,
It sounds as though you have been through quite a lot in your lifetime and that your faith has brought you through each challenge. It’s good that your friend has someone grounded like you to talk to but it seems as though she isn’t listening much to what you have to say! Feeling fear is one thing, but living in fear is another. When that happens, reasonable and rational thinking go out the window. We can’t convince anyone to have faith because faith is something each of us discovers in our own way. Many times trying circumstances are the very things that bring us to faith’s door. When we’re faced with an overwhelming feeling of fear or dread, we think that we have to solve it on our own and that we are alone. Faith may feel like a foreign language to your friend right now. Perhaps you could reach her by starting a dialogue and sharing your trying experiences and how you dealt with them. Ask her to share how she’s coped with her own challenges in the past. Shifting the focus to what can work, rather than the present sense of what doesn’t, will remind her that, “This too shall pass.”
In Religious Science we have a saying: “There is a Power for good in the Universe and I can use it.” That power is God and the faith that God will see us through whatever circumstance we are facing offers a sense of peace in the chaos. Many of us have been taught that seeing is believing, but if we shift the words around to the idea that believing is seeing, it will change the way that we see life.
We create our experience by choosing our thoughts. If I am fearful, that fear-based energy will attract more of the same because that is what I am expecting. If I choose calmness, grace and ease, that peace-based energy will be realized. What I think about, what I dwell on, where I put my attention will create an experience in my life. That is why it is important that we keep our focus on the good, on what works, on what we’re grateful for each day. That means seeing the blessing in each moment instead of the dread.
We don’t have to know how God will bring about peace; we just need to trust that it will come about. I am sure the kind words of a friend will be very helpful to her right now. Reach out again and let her know how much you value her friendship and want to help her get over the fear. Sometimes knowing that someone cares is the very thing that will help someone over the hurdle of moving beyond being stuck in an unsettled feeling.
In Light,
Rev. Mary Morgan

mormari@aol.com

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Dear Concerned Friend,
You’ve left me with much to touch on. Let me begin with a question: What good is faith if it’s misplaced? Like a parachute with holes is dangerous, faith in the wrong thing is useless.
Please forgive me for being picky about words, but this is important. There is a big difference between having faith in the living God and just having faith in general. Faith cannot help you; faith in God can. He is the one who sees our faith and rewards it. Lots of people you know have faith in the wrong thing.
The Bible says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)
Having faith in God is what people do who want to please him – just an important clarification about faith.
Second, thank you, thank you, thank you for praying about this pandemic and believing God will see us through! He will indeed! I wish everybody talked like you! Nowhere on the TV news or internet does anybody ever mention that we should pray about this dreaded pandemic or that God is able to stop it. They all talk like we are in complete control of the spread of this virus. But we are not! “This is my Father’s world.” If this pandemic has shown us anything it’s that we are not in control. God is. I told him what I thought of the Wuhan Virus. He listened. I know he hears me. I know he hears you. Keep praying!
Third, you have terrified friends. This reminds me of that passage in Psalm 14: “They never call on the Lord. But there they are, overwhelmed with dread, for God is present in the company of the righteous.” In truth, those who fear the Lord need fear nothing else. Your God is bigger than a pandemic and stronger than a virus. You know this. And you’ve sought to point your friends in a redemptive direction. Keep up the good work!
And lastly, your friend who hung up on hope. We live in a world hostile to God and His power. The most popular god on this planet is man. Many do not want to be reminded that they are not in charge. People like you, who speak the truth, are just irritating. Your stubborn faith in the God of heaven is like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Jesus said these days would come. You did the right thing. You didn’t fail. Please do not write an apologetic letter. People are free to reject your hope, reject your encouragement and reject your God. Please keep on encouraging others the way you’ve encouraged me. Tell us why God is worth having faith in.
“We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people.” (Colossians 1:3-4)
Rev. Jon T. Karn
Light on the Corner Church
pastorjon@lightonthecorner.org