QUESTION: My concern is how intense and angry people get when discussing politics. I do not share my political affiliation or opinions even though I’m constantly asked. I just say I don’t discuss politics and leave it at that. Recently, though, a friend told me she was dropping a longtime friend because they don’t agree politically. I just listened and didn’t respond to her rantings. My thinking is each and every one of us is entitled to their political opinions that shouldn’t affect friendships.

What do you think?

~ Closed Book

Dear Closed Book,

You got a lotta nerve bringing up politics! You’re probably one of those people! Don’t you realize how crucial this particular election is? America hangs in the balance! How can you be neutral about America!?

Sorry. Just kidding. Let me calm down.

One of the many things I appreciate about this greatest country on God’s green earth is freedom – freedom to speak my mind, freedom to be political, freedom to not be political, the freedom to be persuaded or to persuade others. Particularly now, when giving your opinion on one of the controversies of the day can get you “canceled,” it’s a privilege to be able to speak your mind freely. I’ve seen this freedom of speech under attack for some time now. It’s never been more dangerous to have the wrong opinion. I am regularly censored on social media. Free speech is fleeting. My advice would be to enjoy it while you can.

On the other hand, you have the great freedom of keeping your own counsel. Your political opinions are yours to share or keep. You enjoy one of America’s great liberties, to hold your peace. You are free.

Second, while there’s been an attack on free speech in America, there has also been a rising tide of intolerance. I fondly remember college days and discussions that would go into the night, thrashing out this idea or that. Those days of dialogue don’t exist anymore or at least not like they used to. Antifa now burns Bibles in my old hometown. Moderate Republicans and Democrats are getting harder to find. America has polarized. The same is true with your friends. So it’s not surprising that political discussions have become harder. There’s a new spirit in America: “If your opinion is different from mine, it’s wrong and I don’t want to hear it!”

Third, it might be wise to re-examine the idea that differing political opinions should never affect friendships. Friendships are based in large measure by things in common. In a polarized America, the stakes get higher and friendships strain. I can’t help but remember the story of a resourceful man named William, the last colonial governor of New Jersey. In the lead up to the Revolutionary War and even during the war, he did everything he could possibly do to thwart the efforts of American independence and his patriotic, America loving father. He was imprisoned more than once, spent eight months in solitary confinement, exiled to New York and then finally sent to England. He never returned to the land of his birth. And he never really made peace with his patriot father, Benjamin Franklin.

Politics. Should they affect friendships? How can they not?

Rev. Jon T. Karn

pastorjon@lightonthecorner.org

Dear Closed Book,

These are very hard times for everyone, not just the political divisions which are the worst they’ve been in my lifetime, but also the pandemic, making most people anxious, nervous and depressed. Since people are on edge, conversations are more volatile than ever. Our parents used to say that we should never talk about sex, religion or politics. We should listen to that good advice but, since the “cat is out of the bag,” people feel free to say whatever they want.

I, too, had to drop a longtime friend because she couldn’t accept my bi-racial Latina granddaughter who had the nerve to go to that left wing radical university Berkeley! So I blessed her and let her go. I had to draw the line as other people do, too.

You are doing the best by not responding. People have the right to have their own opinions but you don’t have to engage. If the other person is offending you with their words of wisdom, you also have the right to say, “Let’s change the topic.”

Carolyn Young

cjymesalila@gmail.com

QUESTION: We have two wonderful children who are questioning what’s happening in the world as far as the COVID-19 and protests are concerned. Janna is 10 and Justin is 12. We’ve raised them with Christian values and have attended church until the recent shutdown. Our family now views services online. Janna and Justin are questioning God’s role in the chaos. Actually, we are as well. We have had many discussions and are open to their questions.

Their latest question led us to ask for help: “Does God expect us to figure this out for ourselves?” Thank you for your suggestions.

~ Stumped Parents

Dear Stumped Parents,

These are good questions and ones I’m sure a lot of people are asking. It is a chaotic time. Our faith reminds us that God is in the midst of the chaos. In the beginning, as creation was happening, God was in the midst of the chaotic swirling waters and the howling winds bringing forth order and new life.

God is still doing that today. In the midst of our chaotic lives and times, God is bringing hope, peace and assurance. We see this most through the actions and words of others, times when we are reassured by beloved family members and friends that it is going to be okay, that hope and love are still very much alive! And God does not expect us to figure this out by ourselves. God gives gifts and talents to each person and we are invited to use these for the common good. So doctors and nurses, teachers and administrators, scientists, community leaders, first responders, postal workers, pastors and all those who continue to keep us safe and our communities running are the ones who help us figure this all out. We must trust one another and we must trust the wisdom God has given to each of us, wisdom that says, “All are loved and all are valued.”

I’m reminded of the wise words of Mr. Fred Rogers who said, “Look for the helpers.” I invite you and your family to look for the helpers in your community and then discern how you might help those around you. When we help each other we realize we are not alone, and we do not have to figure this out all by ourselves.

I will hold your family, and our community, in my prayers as we journey through this time together. And remember: God is always with us!

Blessings,

Rev. Karin Ellis

revkarinellis@gmail.com

Dear Stumped Parents,

I have found that, over the past five months, the social distancing and isolation practices have brought a severe sense of loneliness to families, especially children. It is no surprise then to have questions about God’s presence with us: Are we alone in this? Where is God in the midst of our crisis? Your children are asking questions that echo across the globe.

I think the wisdom of the past can help us see toward a brighter future.

Personally, I keep returning to Israel’s exile to Babylon. When a foreign power brutally defeated them, it was assumed that their God was defeated, too. They were absent from their land and faith and worship. In Jeremiah 29, the prophet begins by rejecting the easy answers given by leaders – “We’ll be through this in no time!” Instead, God’s instruction was to make this new reality a home: they were going to be here a while. But it wasn’t forever. After two or three generations, God would return the people back to their land. It is at this point (after the rejection of easy answers) that God makes the familiar promise: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare, to give you a hopeful future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
This experience transformed Israel’s perspective. When faced with suffering, God is inclined to be with us rather than rescue us from it. We want escape; God gives endurance. Does God expect us to figure this out ourselves? I believe that God has given us what we need – scientific expertise, alternative means to worship and bond with others, creative ways to educate at a distance. But we must also be wary of quick fixes, denials and exploitative greed from those in power.
One way for children (and adults) to experience God’s “with-ness” is a practice of lament and gratitude. We name what hurts us while also naming what evokes hope. We refuse to see one canceling the other. The joy of God remains with us in our painful experience. To deny it is to deny the very hope we have. Take heart in knowing that this is not the first time that faithful people have questioned God’s presence in nationwide suffering. Consider the joy we experience when God’s presence is finally found as we continue to search (Jeremiah 29:13-14).

Rev. Kyle Sears

kylesears@lacanadachurch.org