Q: I had surgery several months ago and I have been recovering ever since – and not very well. My healing is taking much longer than my doctors and I anticipated. I am doing everything I can to get back into the swing of things because I have a very full life, but I find that I am too exhausted to follow through. Because of the months my recovery is taking, I have lost confidence in my ability to heal. As a result, I feel very depressed and I don’t know what to do. Nothing seems to motivate me. I’m trying to figure out if I should focus on staying alive or on making my transition. Looking for some insight and guidance! – Helpless

Dear Helpless,

I am sorry that your recovery is not going as speedily as you had hoped. But here is some of what I would do.

First, I would be sure that I was getting enough sleep. (I have heard it said, “Sleep, like virtue, is its own reward.” So be sure you’re getting enough rest. And don’t eschew an afternoon – or morning! – nap.)

Next, I don’t know if you are “religious” (whatever that means), so don’t be offended by what I’m about to say – but say a few prayers – perhaps something like this: “God, or Master of the Universe, I don’t even know if you are there. But if you are, please help me recover from my current ailment. You know that I was expecting it to be easier, so please help me deal with the possible fact that I may not totally recover. I do so want to recover, and I thank you for giving me a body that really tries to heal itself. So please, Lord or El Señor, bring me back to full health. (And now the hard part.) But if in your Divine Plan you have decided that I am not going to heal, please give me strength for whatever the next step is. And thank you for this great life that you have given me. I would like a little bit more of it (wouldn’t we all!), but I thank you for what you have given me. Although it has been shorter than I had hoped, I thank you. It has been a great ride!”

Try that and see if it helps. We all have to bid farewell to this mortal coil and most of us would prefer that it would be later rather than sooner. But the main point is, it seems to me, to be grateful for whatever time with which we are blessed. And – in my humble opinion – we aren’t simply given time: we are truly blessed with it.

The Rev. C. L. “Skip” Lindeman, Minister
Upland Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)

Dear Helpless,

I’m sorry your healing is taking longer than you anticipated. Sometimes the message of any setback is to release the need to control things and to allow divine right action to take place. Sometimes the two – our way and God’s way – don’t always meet at first. This slow recovery may be just what you need to get in touch with that inner presence that is within you. This might be the perfect time to ask, “What is the gift this experience has to offer?” If you can look at it from that perspective, you might gain some insight into what your next step is as you question whether you should focus on staying or leaving this plane of existence.

Our bodies are a mirror of what is going on in our consciousness. Fearful and confused thinking can serve as a wake-up call to get in tune with the cause of our feelings. It has been said that people lose their way when they lose their “why.” Give yourself time to explore what your “why” is. Doing so will get you in alignment with the truth of who you really are and it’s so much more than all you’ve done or plan to do in the world. When we “Let go and let God” it leads us toward a deeper understanding of our purpose and the direction our life. There is guidance available when we make ourselves available to that inner voice and it will lead you to your next best step.

Listen to your heart. There you will find the peace of mind that you are seeking and the answers to what’s next will become clear.

In Light,

Rev. Mary Morgan
Redondo Beach CSL