Question: I am in a dilemma about Christmas time regarding gift giving. It seems as though all the stores, TV ads and basically everyone I know is preoccupied with giving and getting gifts. In my mind this is not what the Christmas season is about. I have many people I would like to give gifts to but I just don’t have the money. I don’t bake and I’m not creative enough to make gifts and I just feel so hopeless and downhearted that I can’t give the ones I care about something they would like. It makes me want to hide out and avoid getting together with anyone over the holidays. 

Do you have any suggestions of what I can do?

Signed,
Downhearted

Dear Downhearted,

Christmas capitalism has been magnified in our culture to emphasize gifts as a vehicle for companies to increase their profits at the end of the year. The whole thing is couched in charming images and songs that are designed to promote feelings of elation. Promotion of “the warmth of being with family” through pictures of comfort surrounded by expensive items, brilliant colors, shiny objects and abundant food all prepared and laid out by professionals, photographed artfully by photographers and imagined by people who rarely, if ever, have actually experienced anything like that in real life.  In short, it is a fantasy that is largely unattainable for most of us.

The retailers are acting in their own best interests. Retailers are not concerned that most people cannot achieve what is being promoted.

How about thinking of those you would like to connect with at Christmas and write something to them? A few sentences telling them what they mean to you. Perhaps relate a story from past experiences you shared that is dear to you. You could even put what you write onto a card. Take the time to write it on scratch paper and then write your corrected words carefully and legibly so your card looks neatly done. How often do we take the time to communicate what is really important – that is, our connection with our loved ones?

Merry Christmas and may your holiday season be full of good connections!

Rabbi Janet Bieber
Temple Beth Emet, Burbank

Dear Downhearted, 

How about this? It requires effort but write a note or Christmas card to each

person on whom you were planning to shower a gift. Tell that person how much you

care for them and why. I seem to remember reading Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay

on “Gifts” (when I was in high school) and he did not like the idea of gift-giving because it could bring a sense of obligation to the person receiving the gift.

You do not have to parrot Emerson’s words but try to give what I said above to each person.

And you could say on every card, “Christmas makes me thankful for YOU.”

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

The Rev. C. L. “Skip” Lindeman
Upland Christian Church, Disciples of Christ