Living In Wonder-land

Increasingly, we’re living in a land of wonders. I submit for your consideration:

I wonder … if anyone else finds it unbelievable that the California Department of Health Services has just made it possible for boys  (“boys” being the operative word here) as young as 12 to order condoms – free of charge, mind you – by mail or online? Because, as every progressive adult knows, lack of access to free condoms is the problem with today’s youth.

I wonder … now that Alaska Airlines has ended their 30 year tradition of including a small prayer card with passengers’ in-flight meals, if they will react as decisively to the deluge of letters management has reportedly received from customers who are offended and saddened by the removal of the cards? Apparently, a small number of travelers had complained that their right to “separation of religion and travel” was being violated. I’m not kidding. Maybe Alaska Air should go completely “PC” and place a condom on every tray so passengers can practice safe flying.

I wonder … if advances in television technology are contributing to the problem of obesity today? Think about it – as TVs have gotten slimmer, people have gotten fatter. Coincidence?

I wonder … why dog owners have been so effectively trained to carry plastic bags to pick up their pooches’ poops, but the same courtesy hasn’t yet caught on with owners of horses? Granted, equestrians would need to strap rolls of Hefty bags to their saddles to clean up after their steeds, but I for one would certainly appreciate the gesture. Last Saturday on an otherwise wonderful bike ride in, around and through the neighborhoods of La Cañada, South Pasadena and Altadena, pedaling near the Devil’s Gate Dam area required some rather artful dodging around many massive mounds of aromatic and well-used hay. Talk about your road (apple) hazards.

I wonder … if the moral termites in the programming department at ABC Television would be so quick to green light a series with the title of  “GJB” or “GMB” as they have their latest anti-Christian comedy, “GCB”? Note to the entertainment industry: we’d be slightly more receptive to your laughable claims of diversity, enlightenment and tolerance when your shows equally mock and/or ridicule Muslims, Jews, Hindus and, oh yeah … Democrats. (Now that would really be a dangerous and edgy move!) This might come as a huge surprise to the entertainment industry elite in their insular and self-congratulating worlds, but it ain’t bold, creative or even remotely original to routinely slander and malign Christians and/or conservatives. Frankly, it’s easy and expected. Come on, kids. Lift the lids just a teeny bit on those supposedly open minds of yours and try something new. Please.

I wonder … if I’m the only one who shops for greeting cards, chooses exactly the right one out of hundreds of options, and then wastes a ton of time trying to remember where I found that card because for some reason I think only the envelopes in that slot will fit my card. As if 99.9% of the other cards and envelopes right in front of me aren’t the same size!?!? I always feel like such a ditz when it dawns on me that any envelope of any color will fit the card in my hand and I’ve just totally wasted 10 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

I wonder … if all Prius vehicles make that odd sound as they drive by – you know the one that sounds like someone laughing their head off? I usually hear it when I’m standing by the side of my truck at the gas station and watching the total on the pump roll past three figures. Sometimes I have a hard time hearing the strange laughing-Prius sound over my own sobbing, but I’m pretty sure it’s happening.

See what I mean? Wonders all around us.

I’ll see you ‘round town.

  Jim Chase