A Wondering I Go.  Again.

Because it’s been several months since I last purged myself of mental “wonderings,” please bear with me while I do a little pre-spring cranial cleaning. First up, a few weather wonders left in the wake of our recent record-breaking storms:

I wonder … which local Southern California newscaster was the first last weekend to ask viewers if we’ve “had enough of this rain?” Unbelievable. Only three days of precipitation after three relentless years of drought and the local news numbskulls were already doing stories about cabin fever, winter depression and worse. That sound you hear is the rest of the country laughing at us, folks.

I wonder … what the record is for how quickly after the rain begins the media starts to remind us all that the precipitation won’t be enough to end the current drought conditions? Yes, we know. We live in a desert. Got it.

I wonder … why we all say “thunder and lightning” when lightning has to happen before there can be any thunder produced? Shouldn’t we say, “lightning and thunder?”

I wonder … how the first responders interviewed after inevitable white-water rescues can keep a straight face while describing the common-sense-challenged citizens that they have to fish out of the LA River every time it rains around here. I’m sure they’d much rather discuss the concept of “thinning the herd.”

Next, the deluge of rain this past weekend gave me the dubious “opportunity” to catch up on some TV watching, which prompted these wonderings:

I wonder … what ad agency came up with that droning doofus in the Eliquis pharmaceutical commercial who has “…always tried to give it my best shot.” Maybe so, but he blathers on about his many medical ailments while his wife sits nearby in her own semi-conscious stupor (Really, Bob? We’re going to hear all about your flippin’ atrial fibrillation … again?) and his adult son kills time dribbling a basketball outside on the driveway, rolling his eyes and waiting to bond with “Best Shot Bob” in a game of hoops. The commercial is only a minute long, but it feels like hours.

I wonder … who at Time Warner Cable thought a TV campaign using some completely irrelevant football coach would be a good idea? The current commercial running ad nauseam features a snooty psychic and makes me want to grab his umbrella and pummel him about the head and shoulders until he just shuts the heck up and goes away. But then, he already knows that.

I wonder … speaking of beyond-terrible commercials – who in Old Navy’s marketing department should lose their job for green-lighting that jaw-droppingly annoying new commercial featuring freakishly over-the-top TSA agents going ga-ga over a woman’s skinny jeans. Ga-ga, no. Gag-gag, yes.

And a few random wonderings before we say adieu for the week:

I wonder … why so many drivers insist on getting into the HOV/Car Pool lane and then drive noticeably slower than the flow of traffic in all the other lanes? News flash: You don’t have to drive in the car pool lane just because you’ve got someone in the car with you.

I wonder … why the makers of audio CDs still shrink wrap and triple seal the hard plastic jewel cases as if the cure to cancer is carried within? Then again, I also wonder why I’m still buying CDs in this age of digital music downloads and entire music libraries on a USB drive the size of my little finger.

I wonder … how I could have gone through so much of life without knowing that I was a certifiably incurable pluviophile? (Don’t worry mom, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. This time, at least.) Actually, I’ve always known that I find great joy and happiness from rainy weather, I just didn’t know there was a term for my condition.

But I feel better now. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you ’round town.

  Jim Chase